Well, here goes nothing!

I am no Stanchion, but I will do my best to bring the same level of hilarity he brings to each and every edition of the Stanchies.

However, I do slave away til late o’clock editing the Stanchies after mostly every game, so there are a few things I’ve picked up on in his writing:

– It’s Corolla Garland, not Conor Garland. It’s Chaos Giraffe, not Tyler Myers. It’s Teddy KGB, not Teddy Blueger.

– Make as many movie and wrestling references as possible

– As many GIFs as possible.

Okay, now into what you came here for, more Elias Pettersson and JT Miller drama and trade speculation. Because we haven’t heard enough of that yet, have we?

Oh, that’s right. The Vancouver Canucks took on the Nashville Predators tonight.

You could categorize this as a scheduled loss for the Canucks, as they played in Seattle just the night before. Now, it’s not a terrible travel distance by any means, but not having that full game day rest or morning skate would throw any team off.

Tonight was the perfect example of a team in the latter half of a back-to-back. Where the tired team comes out with energy and spunk but run out of gas by the third. Kind of like going to play laser tag; we’re all excited for that first game, diving and crawling to avoid getting hit. But by the time that second game rolls around, you kind of just sit in the corner to catch your breath and let the try-hard eight-year-old pepper your vest with lasers. And you’re just so okay with it.

I can agree that you shouldn’t mess with a winning lineup, and Guilliame Brisebois probably deserved another game. But you’ve got to imagine they get Erik Brännström back in the lineup at some point, right? Just until Quinn Hughes comes back. The defence just needs some ‘oomph’ that they aren’t getting with the current blueliners.

But that’s not really fair to just blame the defencemen. The forwards couldn’t get much done in the neutral zone, either. It was just a never-ending cycle of the Canucks forwards skating through the neutral zone, dumping the puck in and then heading back and defending.

It’s the style of hockey that Head Coach Rick Tocchet wants to play, but I can’t imagine there didn’t come a point in tonight’s game where even he wasn’t sick and tired of watching that. Like, even with Quinn Hughes, Elias Pettersson and Filip Hronek out, the team still has players who can confidently carry the puck into the zone. That’d be like Will Ferrell sending out Byong Sun to play Striker instead of the Italians. Like it can work, but why not trust your best players to carry the offensive load?

The last time these two teams met, the Predators defeated the Canucks 5-3 in Rogers Arena. However, the biggest story was that of JT Miller, who played just over 11 minutes of ice time and was benched for the majority of the third period. This was the last game Miller played before he took his leave of absence.

Speaking of Miller, this game was really a tale of two tapes for him.

He came out the gate firing and was an offensive wrecking ball out there. Miller had four shots on goal, six shot attempts and two hits through the first half of the game. It really did seem like it was only a matter of time before he put his imprint on this game, whether that be adding to his five-game point streak or scoring his first goal in 12 games.

However, well-known Canucks-killer Steven Stamkos gave the Predators a 1-0 lead late in the second period; he seemed to check himself out of the game. It was like he got a call during the second intermission from that one buddy from high school who he hadn’t heard from in years, and he was just calling to sell him life insurance or his new pyramid scheme that you just have to get into before it explodes.

Because in that third period, he just seemed uninterested. Miller couldn’t fire a tape-to-tape pass like he usually can; he couldn’t even accept a pass that landed on his stick. All of which resulted in turnovers. And I get it; that would frustrate me, too. But you can’t let people see your frustration. You could tell in his body language with how he skated to the bench or how he just hovered around the point in the defensive zone, having Brock Boeser cover the F3 for him.

This is like showing up to Marble Slab 15 minutes before closing, and they’re out of Rocky Road ice cream. Like, you could have gotten there earlier, but you can’t let them see you’re disappointed. Just order the Cookies & Cream, and don’t quit on your teammates.

Alright, enough rambling.

Let’s get to the GIFs.

Best cleaning our glasses

Desharnais with an absolute beauty of a pass to JT’s tape. I never thought I would say that. 😅 #Canucks #GoCanucksGo

— Canucks Watcher (@canuckswatcher) January 4, 2025

Yup, I couldn’t believe it either. But it indeed was the 6’7″ Vincent Desharnais who made this pass:

The Predators went full-court press in the neutral zone to turn the puck over. This left Miller wide behind the defence, all Desharnais needed to do was thread the needle between four Predators for a two-line pass to send Miller on a breakaway. Sounds easy right?

Well, I’ll tell ya, 2024 Desharnais couldn’t do this. But this is 2025 Desharnais, baby. This Desharnais gets time in overtime. Things have changed.

In all seriousness, Desharnais has really strung together a stretch of very solid games. Mostly in the defensive zone, but the confidence in his own end is now leaking into his offensive game. He’s certainly earned the trust of his coach, leading to a new role on the team. He logged over 20 minutes of ice time for the first time this season, and by a lot, playing 22:11.

Best bebe, do better

Miller bebe.. we need you to make a move and put that away. #Canucks

— Berty's Sideburns (@bourketuzzi) January 4, 2025

This would have been a great chance for Miller to get that goal-scoring monkey off his back. But maybe, and hear me out, take a little more time with it. No need to fire the puck from the top of the circle. Juuse Saros is so far out of the crease; I can’t imagine he thought he saw an opening he could wire that past him from that far out.

It’s like getting too excited with your new girlfriend and firing off an ‘I love you’ text three weeks into dating. I mean, maybe it will land, but you’ll probably just scare her off.

Best tic tac toe

Tyler Myers really earns the nickname Chaos Giraffe in this play:

First, he earns the Chaos as he collects the puck and makes a weak zone exit pass off the glass, allowing Roman Josi to jump up and hold the zone.

Brief pause, but wouldn’t it get confusing in the Predators locker room to have a game named Juuse and Josi? Like, they sound so similar. And which one of them gets the nickname ‘Juice’? Whatever the answer is in their locker room, in Rogers Arena, neither can have that nickname. That belongs to Kevin Bieksa.

Okay, we can carry on.

The Predators perform a sequence of stellar one-touch passes in the offensive zone while the Canucks get caught puck-watching. Josi sends a spinning back pass to Vinnie Hino-George Costanza to Ryan O’Reilly to Gustav Nyquist wide open at the side of the net.

That’s where Myers gets the Giraffe part of his nickname, as he extends his long body and stick to slightly block the Nyquist shot enough for it to hit the side of the net.

You’ve got to give the Preds some credit here for their creative set of passing. Nine times out of 10, that’s in the back of your net. But not when the Chaos Giraffe has anything to do with it.

Best drinking game

Take a shot every time Sherwood throws a hit (or maybe not lol.) #Canucks

— 𝕏 FREE BRÄNNY 🪧 (@kuzmenkosbanana) January 4, 2025

That would be a lot of Pink Whitney shots. With another six hits tonight, Sherwood is now at 214 hits through 37 games this season. That would be just under six shots per game.

But I will say, there isn’t a duo on the team that is more exciting to watch together right now than Kiefer Sherwood and Dakota Joshua. That’s got to put the shivers down opponents’ spines, just like when the Undertaker came out of his coffin.

See, I can do wrestling comparisons, too, Wyatt:

The duo landed back-to-back hits on this play on both of the Predators defenders. Even in the neutral zone, Sherwood gets tangled up with Filip Forsberg for a loose puck, and boom, Joshua comes up right behind you and hits you, even when you’re down.

Best Dak is Bak

Joshua knew he was fighting a guy who knows how to throw fists, he definitely took that fight for team morale reasons, RESPECT DAK! #canucks

— 44 (@canuckinsanity) January 4, 2025

To be fair, I’ve wondered this too. I understand it’s for player safety, and you don’t want a player to get knocked out and then slam their head on the ice. But now you’re running the risk of hurting your hand on the visor or helmet – like Joshua did last year, which held him out for nearly 20 games:

But as shown above, this is likely Joshua having to answer for hitting an already falling Forsberg. But it’s nice that the Canucks have a player who will answer that bell when asked. Especially against a tough customer in Michael McCarron.

You know how hard it would be to fight on skates? No? Me neither. But I can pat my head and rub my tummy at the same time. That’s pretty hard, too.

It looks like McCarron lands more punches, but for Joshua to jump right back off after losing his balance, he deserves credit, too. The physicality didn’t stop there for Joshua, as he was getting under the skin of the Predators all night.

Best open up the chequebook

I don’t care what Lank asks for at this point, pay the man #Canucks

— AJ ♡ (@SarcasticallyAJ) January 4, 2025

I mean, what is there really to say about Kevin Lankinen at this point? Outside of Quinn Hughes, Lankinen has been the Canucks best player this season:

This play is a little bit of deja-vu from above, as the Canucks failed to clear the zone, and the Predators have a nice passing sequence where, you guessed it, Nyquist received the pass with a shooting lane and an open net. Except for this time, it was Lankinen who got in the way of Nyquist finding the back of the net.

It really was a goaltending duel in this game. Neither goalie had allowed a goal until the 37-minute mark. And despite the final score, Lankinen only allowed one goal on 17 shots, finishing with a .941 save percentage. Now, it wasn’t like a Dominik Hasek vs. Patrick Roy type bout, but both goalies had a stellar night.

But you knew that Lankinen would want revenge against his former team after allowing four goals in their first meeting. He did his job, but the team in front of him didn’t give him any goal support. It’s like doing all the work on the group project and getting a worse grade than little Johnny, who did no work at all.

Best oh he’s got it tonight

Sherwood is on a f*cking mission tonight 😲#canucks

— Dragon Was Slayed (@522IntoOvertime) January 4, 2025

It sure looked like Sherwood wanted to show his former team exactly what they missed out on:

His speed through the neutral zone and down the wing is exactly the type of player Tocchet wanted to bring in this offseason. He doesn’t land the shot on net, but his speed allows him to pick up the puck in the air and wheel it through the offensive zone and throw it on net, hoping for chaos to ensure.

Since these clips can only be 15 seconds, Sherwood does get another chance down the wing for a shot he gets on net. Sherwood was a buzzsaw tonight against his former team.

I betcha Nashville Sher-wood like to have him back.

Eh? Okay, I’m sorry. More GIFs.

Best do your dekes

Okay Miller, Do your Dekes #Canucks

— Jake (@RimJutherford69) January 4, 2025

As we touched on above, it really did look like Miller would make his mark on this game in the first period.

Sure, he was cherry-picking like you do in NHL 25 World of Chel. But it was another example of how he was behind the Predators’ defence for a chance. This is the Miller we’re used to seeing. The aggressive, power forward who isn’t afraid to take on a player one-on-one.

And he does just that. Now, the outcome may have been different had he waited a bit, but I don’t hate the thought to try and beat the goalie quickly, as he’s sliding.

Best what’s goalie interference?

If Saros was laying on the ice writhing in pain the goal would have counted #Canucks

— MalMarvel (@MalMarvel) January 4, 2025

The second period started out hot, with the usual suspects from the first period: Joshua, Sherwood and Teddy KGB:

Firstly, the goal certainly shouldn’t have counted. Joshua clearly does make contact with Saros without getting pushed in by a Predators defender. But it’s awesome to see the Canucks strike quickly coming out of the period, especially from the bruisers and the mobster.

Now, can you confidently tell me Teddy KGB didn’t orchestrate this diabolical plan for Joshua to disrupt Saros? No, you can’t. So, I will continue to believe the con artist had this all planned.

But this line wasn’t done just yet:

The Sherwood is at it again. The Predators forward cycles the puck back to the point, but Sherwood beats the defender to the puck. In one swift motion, he pokes the puck enough to get past the defender and does his best Steph Curry step back to avoid the incoming hit and sends himself on the 2-on-1 with Joshua the other way.

Sherwood keeps it himself and fires a shot that grazes Saros and shoots wide of the net. It does look like Joshua would have had the better scoring chance had Sherwood got the pass over to him. But by no means was it as bad as Easton Cowan looking off Oliver Bonk against Czechia:

Incredibly selfish by Easton Cowan here. Bonk had a tap in. pic.twitter.com/IPC0aqP0eS

— World Hockey Report (@worldhockeyrpt) January 3, 2025

Best don’t hurt my Jakey

No push back to stand up for Jake after a very late hit by Shenn #Canucks

— Prihar.eth (@gary_prihar) January 4, 2025

Jake DeBrusk gets clobbered into the boards by former-Canuck Luke Schenn well after the whistle:

Now, I agree; you don’t love seeing teammates not stand up for one another after a late hit like that. But DeBrusk’s linemates were Pius Suter and Corolla. They aren’t necessarily your prototypical tough guys. It’s not like he’s skating out there with Doug Glatt from Goon, who can take care of Schenn. And with the defencemen seeing that DeBrusk got up and was okay, there’s no real need for them to come in and take the faceoff outside of the offensive zone.

But like, come on, Luke. I’ve got DeBrusk on my CanucksArmy fantasy hockey team. Don’t be doing that.

If the defenceman did get involved, we wouldn’t have had this…almost goal from Corolla:

This one stings. It was set up on a platter for Garland to open the scoring, but Saros had other ideas. Corolla lifted the rebound high enough, but Saros just got the inside of his blocker on it to deny him. Now, there should never be any questioning about the Corolla and its dependability, but had Garland kept it on the ice and sent it five-hole – as he’s known to do – he probably buries it.

However, having Corolla score when Wyatt was not on Stanchies duties would just feel wrong.

Best say it ain’t so

Don’t you dare tell me Dak is hurt JUST as he’s returning to form and with all the other injuries. 😩😩😩 #Canucks

— 𝕏 FREE BRÄNNY 🪧 (@kuzmenkosbanana) January 4, 2025

Well, this was a scary moment for Canucks fans:

Blueger comes around the boards and pushes Josi over like four-year-olds do when they get their Tonka truck stolen from another kid. Josi lands awkwardly on Joshua’s left knee, and you can just see a powerful, painful yell. These are the awkward hits you see when an edge rusher falls into an offensive lineman’s leg when they’re trying to block another 300-pound rusher.

It was an unfortunate scene as we were just finally starting to see him look like the Joshua we’re accustomed to seeing last season – at least physically. He’ll need to play with Corolla again for his offensive game to flourish again. Or, maybe, if Tocchet keeps DeBrusk with Miller and Boeser once Pettersson returns, a Joshua-Pettersson-Garland line might be interesting?

Joshua would miss the remaining 12 minutes of the second period but would return for the third period.

Best two for tusslin’

Höglander getting a penalty for tusslin'. What, can't players tussle anymore? #Canucks

— Daniel Wagner (@passittobulis) January 4, 2025

Well, I’ll be damned. I’ve never seen this penalty called before:

The call on the ice was roughing, and I get it; you’re not allowed to take another player’s helmet off, whether Höglander intended to or not. But what happened to the old NHL, man? First, they can’t fight without helmets, then they can’t even sneeze on the goalie, and now this? #LetThePlayersTussle

Anywhoooo, had that penalty not been called, we wouldn’t have gotten to see how improved this penalty kill truly is:

The Predators get set up in the zone, but notice how all the penalty killers have active sticks. They are constantly waving them like the arms of a wacky waving inflatable arm-flailing tube guy to disrupt any sort of passing lanes. This restricts the Predators to keeping the play to the outside, and as soon as they try to feed the point, Blueger gets his stick in the lane, and the puck deflects to Desharnais and clears the zone.

The Canucks now have the 12th-best penalty kill on the season with an 81.4% conversion rate. Which would be the third-highest fourth-down conversion rate in the NFL. Do with that what you will.

Best staying positive

That's OK. Lanky's superpower kicks in once we're down one. #canucks

— Dragon Was Slayed (@522IntoOvertime) January 4, 2025

That is very true. Lankinen and the comeback-Canucks have a positive record by at least a few games when they allow the first goal this season. Which is what they did again tonight:

So, I’m torn on this decision here from Brisebois. I like the intuitiveness to jump up into the play and keep the puck in the zone. But as a fringe player, you should really be certain you’re going to get enough on the puck to keep the play in the zone.

He does get a stick on it, but it was just a little flick that goes straight to the Preds player, and it’s another odd-man rush the other way because of a pinching defenceman.

But, thankfully, Desharnais was back to save the day.

Add that to the list of sentences I never thought I’d say this season.

But once Stamkos receives the outlet pass, Desharnais immediately pressures him. Enough to the point where he doesn’t even have to worry about Stamkos getting the pass to the other forward. As soon as Stamkos stops up, Desharnais shows off his skating and is back in perfect positioning before Stamkos can even decide what to do.

Now, this was still an odd-man rush, allowing Stamkos to just do a simple pass back and forth that he blasts past Lankinen, scoring his 10th goal in his last 10th game against the Canucks. He might be the modern-day Milan Hejduk as the Canuck-killer.

Best bring your apple to class

OK… this Garland-Miller-PDG line HAS to be the "Teacher's Pet" line no?#Canucks #VANvsNSH

— TheHockeyTOONS (@TheHockeyTOONS) January 4, 2025

In hopes of getting a spark, Tocchet made some line changes, putting Miller with Corolla and Phil Di Giuseppe and Suter in between DeBrusk and Boeser.

It seems like Tocchet’s get out of jail free card with a player is to just throw him on a line with Corolla. Oh, you’re not liking what you’re getting out of one of your top forwards? Boy does Tocchet have the answer for that.

None of these trios really stood out. This is now back-to-back disappointing games from Boeser. It seems like his foot speed is really getting exposed and put on blast for him. Now, he’s a goal scorer; he’s never been a burner. But it seems like it’s become a bit of a bigger issue this season.

The Canucks were granted their first power play of the game, after Filip Forsberg gave Desharnais a hug from behind like a guy who’s had a few too many soda pops trying to hit on the most attractive girl at the bar:

And you know what that means: more Chaos Giraffe on the power play:

Honestly, it wasn’t that eventful of a power play. It was mostly spent with CG57 and Miller playing hot potato with the puck at the blue line, but just seeing a wild Giraffe in uncharted waters by running a power play is something you only see on National Geographic.

Best getting Sassy with it

Vidal Sasson getting the best chances #Canucks

— Abu Am’mar (@taizzzz5) January 4, 2025

Usually fourth liners are just energy guys. Players who are heavy on the forecheck, can make a big hit at an opportune time. But there’s so much more that Sasson brings than that:

It’s just his positioning in the offensive; that is something you don’t typically see out of fourth-liners. He always seems to be in the right spot at the right time and gets rewarded by getting a solid scoring chance or setting up a linemate for one.

Later in the period, he’s just all over the offensive zone:

He picks up the loose puck along the boards, bursts to the slot and sets up Höglander at the front of the net. But he’s got no quit in his motor. Sasson stays with the play, steals the puck, sets up Joshua down low, grabs that blocked attempt and sends it to the point to maintain the offensive zone.

They seem to be comfortable playing Sasson at centre. I can’t see him coming out of the lineup once Pettersson returns. This will allow Suter, the team’s Swiss army knife, to play the wing in the top six.

Best this little piggy

"and Evangelista goes 'wee wee wee' all the way home"#Canucks fans are blessed to have John Shorthouse

— Trent Leith 🏳️‍🌈 (@trentl14) January 4, 2025

Now, you won’t be able to hear it, but that is what Shorthouse said on the broadcast after this unbelievable baby-toe save on Luke Evangelista:

We are truly lucky to listen to Shorthouse call games in this market. But, of course, more lucky to have Lankinen in the crease in Vancouver. I’m genuinely starting to think that, with Demko hurt again, re-signing Lankinen needs to be on one of the highest things on Patrik Allvin and Jim Rutherford’s to do list before free agency.

Best tanking your trade value

A Miller giveaway followed by slowly skating to the bench while the Preds enter the #Canucks zone. Not a great look!

— Josh Elliott-Wolfe (@ElliottWolfeJ) January 4, 2025

Now, I mentioned this at the top, but just watch these two plays from Miller:

Miller can’t handle the pass from Juulsen, and instead of doing any sort of skating back to help his defenders, he parks himself in the same spot he left the screen at the point. Juulsen miss plays the puck along the boards, and Nashville gains possession in the zone, and now the Canucks defenders are outnumbered because Miller pouted at the blue line.

On the same shift, Miller just decided he didn’t want to play his position. He stayed hovering at the point while Boeser covered him at the F3 position. The puck ends up trickling to his side of the boards, and instead of taking the time to make the smart play, he just spins and fires a no-look pass up the middle for Nyquist to intercept.

Nyquist waits on Miller’s side for the Predators to tag up and head back in the zone. What does JT Miller do? He just glides straight to the bench as the Predators regain the zone while DeBrusk and Boeser stay out there to defend.

That is just not acceptable for any player to do, let alone one who wears an ‘A’ on his jersey and is supposed to be leading this team with both Hughes and Pettersson out of the lineup. Oh, yeah, and the New York Rangers had pro scouts in attendance for tonight’s game. And I doubt they were here to watch many Predators.

I won’t bore you by showing the two empty net goals. But Nyquist says ‘night, night’ to the Canucks by scoring the first one, and Colton Sissons gets his revenge from last year’s playoffs, where he missed the empty net goal before the Canucks game back in Game 4.

Final score: 3-0 bad guys.

Despite the score line, this was very much a 1-0 game, where the Canucks had plenty of time to get on the board but ran into a hot Juuse Saros. Did the Canucks deserve a little bit better of fate? Probably. They out-shot Nashville 27-19 and out-hit them 50-21. But that’s hockey; sometimes, these things happen.

Is it time to hit the panic button? We all know by this point that the Canucks really struggle on home ice. But the Predators are a much worse road team than the Canucks are home team. With this win, the Predators are now 4-14-3 on the road this season. 50% of the Predators road wins this seasons are to the Canucks. This is a team that’s behind the San Jose Sharks and the Buffalo Sabres in the NHL standings.

Their previous three-game stretch against the Calgary Flames, Seattle Kraken, and Nashville Predators was the easiest part of their schedule coming up. And they can only scrap out one shootout win? That’s not good enough. They now face the most difficult part of their schedule on their upcoming road trip with a stretch of six straight games against playoff teams.

Well, that’s a wrap to my Stanchies debut. I wish it was a better outcome, but hopefully, you enjoyed the writing!

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