When I first found out that my Stanchies debut would be today, I was excited. A nice, relaxed, low-stakes Sunday afternoon game against the Tampa Bay Lightning.
<div class="bam-inline-promotion-block" data-max-length="2" data-placement-id="2111" data-context="web-content-promocard" data-property-id="329"></div>
&nbsp;

Then I remembered they were still the Tampa Bay Lightning, armed with almost all the assets that won them two Stanley Cups and a blonde man from Nebraska. Not only that, but today saw the return of Nikita Kucherov to the Lightning’s lineup after two games out, and he’d be looking for a comeback performance. Cool cool cool, no doubt, no doubt. 

Matinee games always feel slightly disorienting and out of place, like we were never meant to watch the NHL this early in the day on a weekend. The closest thing I can compare it to is the feeling of seeing one of your teachers outside of school when you were a kid. Why is Mrs. Jones in the vegetable aisle? Why am I watching hockey at 1 PM? It just doesn’t feel right. 

Thatcher Demko dressed again for this game but, despite rumblings of a triumphant return, did not start in net quite yet. In retrospect, this seems like the right choice, as Demko deserves a respectable welcome back. Kevin Lankinen rides again.

Although the Lightning currently sit at the second Wild Card spot in the Eastern Conference, they’re 15th in the league at 30 overall points compared to Vancouver's 12th place and 32 points. The kicker is that Tampa had a 5-5-1 road record going into this game, not exactly amazing, but consider the fact that Rogers Arena is currently haunted. I don’t have to tell you what their home record is. You know it.

The Canucks managed a remarkable 5-2 comeback win against the mediocre Columbus Blue Jackets on Friday. Surely they would be able to do it again.

Right? Right…

I didn’t have too much riding on this game heading in.
<blockquote>Let's Get It Started</blockquote>
Perhaps my pessimism set the wrong tone, because this game started with an icing call. Failure to connect on a pass off the faceoff win forcing a defensive zone face-off a mere five seconds into the game. Guess who was not amused?

<img src="https://i.giphy.com/media/v1.Y2lkPTc5MGI3NjExbGV4bmJqaW5yYmE4a3JjNzhoN3ZlNTFzM2xnd3Fkbzh5cGMxbW9rZyZlcD12MV9pbnRlcm5hbF9naWZfYnlfaWQmY3Q9Zw/infu0BIfG4AJoSrQZ7/giphy.gif" />

Oof. That’s a Rick Tocchet look of displeasure that’s exclusively reserved for Nils Hoglander and the barista at Starbucks when they say they’re out of oat milk. 

As if one bad omen wasn’t enough, less than a minute into this period, Quinn Hughes suffered a high stick from Tampa LW and Angriest Eyebrows of the Year Award Winner Brandon Hagel.

<img src="https://i.giphy.com/media/v1.Y2lkPTc5MGI3NjExbjJua3Z4azJkNjhnb2RlbHl3OGFhbDFhYWhwZGRsNTNlYnlqcnZ4dCZlcD12MV9pbnRlcm5hbF9naWZfYnlfaWQmY3Q9Zw/eAyZmTGAbyGE4O1OBu/giphy.gif" />

Looking up at the screen to see the captain hunched over with blood on both himself and the ice isn’t the best way to enjoy a calm Sunday. Remember this “Nice, relaxed, low-stakes Sunday afternoon game?”. I was woefully mistaken. 

So, the ice gets cleaned up as Hughes heads down the tunnel for a quick fix to his face. 

https://twitter.com/noahstrang_/status/1865867086498562131

There’s nothing like freshly scraped blood ice on a Sunday afternoon. That’s what Grandpa used to tell me.

Our Canucks bravely soldiered on, although it felt cruel to be on a double minor power play without the services of Quinn Hughes. At that point, you might as well stick to 5 on 5. 

<img src="https://i.giphy.com/media/v1.Y2lkPTc5MGI3NjExbnFiZGVneWlodjZwZGZjcjdubG5wN2t1OXZydXpzcmJ0ZHF5eDNibyZlcD12MV9pbnRlcm5hbF9naWZfYnlfaWQmY3Q9Zw/JJKFmqmQfnR14oWH8y/giphy.gif" />

They manage to register their first shot on goal – also the first of the game overall – on the power play from Conor Garland, with the help of Brock Boeser and some nice work from third-pairing Erik Branstromm. This in itself is promising, with less than a minute lapsed into the double minor, but as it would turn out, this was the only shot. The only much of anything, really. This is a shame, considering Tampa's penalty kill is down at 21st in the league. Then again, missing not one but two power play workhorses in Hughes and J.T. Miller should give the Canucks a slight excuse.

Now, as the first period continues, we get into the real fun and games of the NHL which is, as always, "Are penalty calls a hard enforcement of the rules or more of a light suggestion?' Look at this cross-check from Conor Geekie on Noah Juulsen behind the Canucks goal line and come to your own conclusions.

<img src="https://i.giphy.com/media/v1.Y2lkPTc5MGI3NjExNnd3OGQwYmQzaGZ1NXZraDdhMGVwcGJxdXpuMnl4aTJrNXZzbnZwNSZlcD12MV9pbnRlcm5hbF9naWZfYnlfaWQmY3Q9Zw/i16mDbvt8bswPvKGjT/giphy.gif" />

There's only one Conor with one 'N' allowed around these parts, kid, and he wears #8.

Yet another neat Conor Garland shot unfortunately suffers the Carson Soucy fate, bouncing off his skate, causing a 2 on 1 with Jake Guentzel and Nikita Kucherov in the driver's seat. Kevin Lankinen is at the ready. It's about to be a shift.

<img src="https://media.giphy.com/media/p64TS3ie7S7P775UU8/giphy.gif" />

From here, Tampa absolutely controls the game for almost a full minute of play, rendering Vancouver unable to make a line change. It's not looking very good, my friends.

Alas, some good news at last. Quinn Hughes returns to the game, and I take a deep breath.

<img src="https://media1.tenor.com/m/qQ-44A0ecM0AAAAd/monty-python-tisbutascratch.gif" alt="two knights are standing next to each other in a field and one of them is saying ' tis but a scratch . '" />

Apparently, everyone in the crowd also takes a sigh of relief, if the cheers at his return are any indication. However, Hughes is not alone. He returns wearing a fishbowl after Brandon Hagel tried his hand at fencing with his face as a target. Fishbowl 2: The Legend of Quinn Hughes continues.

https://twitter.com/angelsuecult/status/1865872048699900279

https://twitter.com/riotsurvivor/status/1865872335179571359

&nbsp;

From here, Vancouver flips the script and does its very best to dominate for the rest of the period. It's almost funny how much more confident this team looks without being down #43, regardless of simply playing better with him on shift. Then again, I would feel more comfortable on a flight knowing the pilot's back in control.

The Canucks have more life, and it shows, because Hughes takes the opportunity to do the funniest thing possible and opens the scoring with a wicked backhand shot. Bubble Boy is evading Nikita Kucherov, his Spidey Sense detects an opening right in the slot, and he goes for it. Pius Suter gets the sole assist.

<img src="https://media.giphy.com/media/zR99BszdBk7NWYJE3z/giphy.gif" />

It's 1-0, Canucks. Fishbowl and all, Hughes has scored his 7th of the season and becomes the <a href="https://x.com/Canucks/status/1865878466001793179">10th all-time</a> in franchise history in goals by a defenceman. The Canucks finally score first after being afflicted with giving-up-the-first-goal-itis the entire year, an infection that has previously been incurable.

The Middle

Much like the middle child of a family, the middle period of this game was largely ignored compared to the first and third, and therefore turned out weird and underachieving.

I wish I had more to elaborate on when it comes to this twenty-minute frame. It was certainly twenty minutes of my life that I spent watching a hockey game that I will not get back.

Max Sasson, fourth line centre in this tilt, connects in the neutral zone on a pass down the ice from Hughes and converts it into a breakaway attempt that I think deserves some kudos. With two assists under his belt, he's still looking for his first NHL goal, but if he keeps on having the occasional good look, he'll be well on his way to the promised land before long.

<img src="https://media.giphy.com/media/p74oDetwQvE2QEWowY/giphy.gif" />

It brings me no pleasure to report that Nikita Kucherov evened out the score just under five minutes into the period.

<img src="https://media.giphy.com/media/seZdsFxJ1QqMOIpZy0/giphy.gif" />

The puck is loose in a traffic jam at net front, and Ryan McDonagh catches it on the rebound. Lankinen is further out in the paint, ready to take McDonagh's shot, but fails to account for Nikita Kucherov and the open net behind him, two wrongs that do not make a right. This looks almost easy for McDonagh, and it hurts. Turns out an old dog can learn new (but actually old, circa 2021) tricks.

Brandon Hagel draws a tripping penalty on Vincent Desharnais shortly after. No comment.

<img src="https://media.giphy.com/media/6bIZBtxHa61kCV0tHt/giphy.gif" />

Brayden Point scores on the ensuing power play because Brayden Point is where Nikita Kucherov can see him, basically, and I honestly don't think anyone in a black jersey knows what's going on in this sequence. I certainly don't.

<img src="https://media.giphy.com/media/pAzVmUVaRTlljqiGC1/giphy.gif" />

This is also where Brandon Hagel, quickly establishing himself as the cartoon villain of this game, does the absolute most for this goal with a quick bunny hop. This game is silly sometimes, I just wish it was silly in Vancouver's favour.

The questionable penalty kill opened this one up for Tampa. Then again, Kevin Lankinen also left the net wide open on the last one. Let's just call it even. You've never done anything wrong, Kevin.

<img src="https://i.pinimg.com/originals/c9/5b/1a/c95b1a2419d76446e12d3af6a640c2b1.png" alt="Pin page" />

When it comes to these goals, I respect how this team listened to Rick Tocchet’s pre-game comments about<a href="https://x.com/Canucks/status/1865834984122245608"> protecting the weaker side of the ice against Tampa</a> and proceeded to do precisely not that. Really great effort, guys. They were the opposite of locked-in. They were locked out, and there wasn’t a spare key under the mat. 

Tampa is doing what Tampa does, here. Their Wicked Witch of the East-West routine is more involved than Wicked or the entire Wizard of Oz extended universe. Lankinen's neck is probably tired of straining left to right after this game. Horizontal back and forth and purely outlasting or confounding their opponent is the Lightning's tried and true system, and if you get bested by it, you get bested.

<img src="https://media.giphy.com/media/HQiDQ6yhaRjoMVDZvW/giphy.gif" />

Tampa is on yet another power play after a tripping call on Pius Suter. Kevin Lankinen loses his stick briefly, as I am losing my mind. If I'm him, I am asking for a collective Secret Santa gift from my team as an apology if this keeps happening at home.

At least there are still things to laugh about, as Kiefer Sherwood's helmet, lost during an offensive zone scrum, sits on the ice like it's about to get up and start playing autonomously.

<img class="alignnone wp-image-135459" src="https://publish.canucksarmy.com/wp-content/uploads/sites/3/2024/12/Screenshot-2024-12-09-at-12.35.42 AM-300x164.png" alt="" width="474" height="259" />

We don't even get long to enjoy this scene of a lonely bucket, as Conor Garland takes a hooking penalty. It doesn't matter that reckless youth Conor Geekie should have been called for virtually the same thing earlier. Let's just make it up as we go along, shall we?

https://twitter.com/unparalledbore/status/1865905022841626741

This Is The End, My Only Friend

Despite Tampa starting this period on the power play, and the Canucks still being outshot 25-13 by the time they're off the kill, they're still the ones to strike first.

There's not a registered shot or stoppage in play for over four minutes until Kiefer Sherwood, waiting at net front, manages to get one past Vasilevskiy to make it 2-2. At this point, he's about to overtake Sutherland as the most beloved and recognizable Kiefer in Canada.

<img src="https://media.giphy.com/media/rKGpYg4016L6MKDlTM/giphy.gif" />

They say patience is a virtue, but at this point, it is nearing supper time and I am simply getting hangry and questioning whether they can really get it done.

This goal could have been the start of a great comeback from a tie for the Canucks.

I mean, it wasn't, but it could have been, and I think that's something.

<img src="https://i.giphy.com/media/v1.Y2lkPTc5MGI3NjExaXdtbGlzZm5sOWd5M3JuaWc1Z2QyMTVieGhkbXJ1MDlldzZsMzdoNCZlcD12MV9pbnRlcm5hbF9naWZfYnlfaWQmY3Q9Zw/ZVGvEJlLR2ZZMiFbXC/giphy.gif" />

Quinn Hughes goes cross-ice and gets yet another backhanded look, but can't make it past Vasilevskiy. Almost like he is a Vezina-winning goalie, or something. How annoying.

Mere moments later, Conor Garland – who didn't let up even once in this game, like the beloved Corolla he is – gets a beautiful chance denied.

<img src="https://media.giphy.com/media/2JJNlWSm2ztnYMUmD0/giphy.gif" />

<img src="https://media.giphy.com/media/s1Pa4quQrOHdf9wKJK/giphy.gif" />

He's frustrated, and I don't blame him.

What is there left to say? Conor Geekie continues his youthful rebellion against the Vancouver Canucks, and Brandon Hagel continues his new one-sided beef against Quinn Hughes, for some reason.

<img src="https://media.giphy.com/media/wFyqWxN8rosLxJvR2b/giphy.gif" />

Known reasonable man Mikey Eyssimont and Danton Heinen decide to have a very pleasant conversation in the blue paint here, probably making brunch plans, one can assume.

With five and a half minutes left to go, Vancouver takes a too many men on the ice penalty after a failed blue line change. That takes me back to last season. Sure, in some of the wrong ways, but I sure would trade a lot to have last winter's power play right now, even if I had to take some pointless penalty kills to go with it.

<img src="https://media.giphy.com/media/Q5x79n2qZtgoPOeFeh/giphy.gif" />

Jake Guentzel has a goal that's immediately called off, but upon review, unfortunately, made contact with Noah Juulsen's stick. Wrong place wrong time can still apply, even in front of the net. I never thought I would have a grudge against some guy's chest, but here we are.

It'a 3-2 Tampa with a handful of minutes left, all off a technicality. If this was a goal for Vancouver, you would have wanted it to count. I'll try not to be miserable about it. It might not work but I'll try! Whoever said you can't accomplish anything without a positive attitude was probably repressing a lot.

Lankinen is pulled at the end of the third, and I think we all know where this is going.

Brayden Point logs an empty-net goal making it 4-2 for Tampa with 17 seconds left in the game, and the only thing I could say was:

<img src="https://64.media.tumblr.com/f055ee1c765473dbd3a5a54c3256fb3a/tumblr_inline_pnjkkarGbX1sqpt7o_500.gifv" alt="It's the Sunglasses — The Classes As John Mulaney Quotes" />

It’s a road win for the Tampa Bay Lightning. Rogers Arena is blasting this year’s customary We Are Young by fun.. It does not feel fun, I can tell you that much!

That’s not to say the game was not fun in general. At least it was anything but boring. It had me hooked from beginning to end, with actual blood, sweat, and tears. It wasn’t slow, or lacklustre, it just had a disappointing result. I’m simply growing tired of disappointments and almosts.

In the grand scheme of professional hockey, the Canucks didn’t play poorly through a full 60 minutes. They had their foot on the pedal offensively in the third, trying their very best to erase the shot deficit and ending up at 31-25 against by the end, but no dice. Once again, their structural issues are beginning to show like they’re the Tower of Pisa.

In the defence department, the Lightning have Victor Hedman, Ryan McDonagh, Erik Cernak, one of the Raddyshes, and some other guys, probably, shoutout to them. The Canucks, on the other hand, have Quinn Hughes with a space dome on his head, a million and some change in cap space, and a dream. With Filip Hronek out at least on an eight-week timeline, Tyler Myers is playing first pairing, which is great news for Chaos Giraffe if he keeps on being Chaotic Good rather than Chaotic Evil, but we also are contending with Vincent Desharnais in the lineup again. This can’t be the best we can do…can it?

It’s just not working, and dressing up inconsistent defencemen in the skate jersey isn’t going to fix them, just like slapping a fresh coat of paint on a 2018 Kia Sorrento doesn’t mean the engine still isn’t at risk of explosion. and neither will the return of Thatcher Demko. Goaltenders don’t exist to bail you out. ‘Tender’ is in the name. We must love and cherish them, and that includes not leaving them hanging. 

Ultimately, it was an entertaining game with a handful of fantastic individual performances and some notable passengers. What else is new? We’re going to need to see some of those promised reinforcements on the blue line sooner rather than later, or else the rest of this season is going to feel like waiting for the SkyTrain after a Taylor Swift concert: anxious, crowded, and just waiting for it to be over.

Sponsored by bet365
<div class="bam-inline-promotion" data-property-id="329" data-promotion-id="19111" data-context="web-content-promocard"></div>
&nbsp;

Recent articles from Arielle Lalande

Breaking News