With the way the Canucks offense has looked this season, I’d excuse you if you needed several moments to absorb the 6-2 box score Vancouver was sporting in their victory over Chicago Saturday night. The majority of the games this year have been a healthy appetite of point shots, praying Quinn Hughes does something cool, flailing at rebounds, praying Quinn Hughes does something cool, hoping maybe the other team puts it in their own net, and of course, praying Quinn Hughes does something cool.

So color me shocked on a night in which the Vancouver Canucks not only won by a score of 6-2, but some of the goals in this game? Downright pretty. Not just “cute in the right lighting” but downright beautiful goals. Some of them even involved multiple passes before the puck went in. Heck, some of those passes were of the East to West variety, something I thought had been banned along with dancing and high top sneakers in the year 2024.

And you know what? Quinn Hughes ALSO DID SOMETHING COOL.

Apparently you can have it all in life?

Now, we won’t get ahead of ourselves of course. It was, after all, just a victory over the lowly Chicago Blackhawks. I am not sure I have ever seen a team with puck management skills this poor since I wondered why Enrico Ciccone was playing 20+ minutes in a game back in 1997. And watching Connor Bedard’s spirit slowly leave his body as the game progressed only hammered home how badly this night was going for the visitors. I am sure he had set his bar low for this contest and had “at least score a single goal on my hometown ice” as his one task he was going to try and complete, but when you have Nils Aman finishing off a no-look backhand pass from Kiefer Sherwood I think you understand that tonight is not your night.

But there is something to be said that Vancouver was able to score goals like they had just booted up WWF: No Mercy and were spamming finishers with their buddies, with nary a care in the world. It’s abundantly clear when you score six goals in fifteen shots that the PDO mobile is on your side for the night, but again, it was how the Canucks were scoring these goals that was so impressive. It wasn’t just throwing in wrist shots from the point, this was a team stepping on the head of the snake and chopping it off with determination and confidence. It was the kind of performance that not only the fan base has been searching for for months, but one that Rick Tocchet has practically been begging to see from his team.

And I can’t be sure, but at one point during this game, I might have seen a hint of swagger from the team? Possibly? Maybe? It’s been so long since I’ve seen swagger around here that I almost forgot what it looked like.

At the end of the day, the win is all that matters, which is why we always trot out that cliche of it doesn’t matter how you do it, just as long as you do it.

But for a team that needs to get on a roll to make the playoffs, for a team whose entire identity has essentially been Charlie Brown trying to kick a football all season long, a win that actually inspires a bit of confidence, a bit of swagger? That might just be the secret ingredient that helps get them to the post-season.

Let’s break down a night full of goals, shall we?

Best slow start

At least the #Canucks are trying to get through this game quickly for us

— 44 (@canuckinsanity) March 16, 2025

I am going to be straight with you, the first ten minutes of this game? Nigh unwatchable. It wasn’t low event hockey, it was no event hockey.

But the good news is there were almost next to no whistles. If it’s going to be tedious hockey, at least it went fast. No offsides, no icings, just straight up “let’s enter the zone and whoops, passed it right back out again” strategies at play:

I knew Chicago was bad, but this might have been the worst team I have seen this season in terms of handling the puck, retaining possession of the puck, or doing anything remotely positive with the puck. If you ever wanted a game in which you could think to yourself “hey maybe I could have made the NHL after all”, then the Blackhawks had you covered.

As for Vancouver’s side in all of this, their third shot was a Vittorio Mancini slapshot, and since I am now legally obligated to show every shot he takes as his official band wagon captain, here it is in all its glory:

Fun fact, the NHL didn’t count that as a shot on net. Why you ask? Because of bees, maybe? I’m not quite sure, actually. All I know is our beautiful boy was robbed of a shot on net and I will not rest until this travesty of justice is rectified. It also feels extra important for a team that struggles mightily to get shots on net at the best of times. We simply cannot afford to be giving away shot counts like this in this economy.

Now, for the majority of the first period, you had that sneaking suspicion you’ve had many times this year where you start to worry the Canucks are going to lose a very winnable game. You start to mentally prepare yourself for the impending loss as you watch the low shot volume and the inability to generate dangerous looks on net. You can almost hear Rick Tocchet whispering in your ear “gotta move your feet” or “that’s something we might need to practice” as the game progresses.

But on this night, for whatever reason, this game went banana cakes near the end of the first period.

Best Arty Party Desarty

SILOVS MASTERCLASS

— chloe (@mood5eva) March 16, 2025

It’s supposed to be a rhyme, you see. “Desart” is supposed to be “dessert”, and at parties sometimes people eat them, and you know what, let’s get to Arturs Silovs best save of the game already:

I cannot stress enough how important this save was from Silovs. Ignore the fact it was Ilya Mikheyev shooting the puck, and just focus on the fact that the Canucks currently have the confidence of Bob Ross being asked to paint “something fun, maybe something with laser guns”; it won’t take much for them to revert back to doing what they know.

So if Chicago scores here, maybe there is a universe in which the Canucks aren’t happy little trees, and instead they just dump and chase all night long, ending the night with a spirited 4-2 loss.

But not on this night, oh no. On this night, Silovs made the timely save, giving the Canucks a victory in one of those “key moments” Rick Tocchet is fond of mentioning.

On this night, there was no Temptation Island. There was no man running down the beach screaming “por qué” at the top of his lungs.

On this night, there was only one man, and his name was Arturs. And he knew exactly what he wanted. And it was a committed, loving relationship with a win in the NHL.

Best I am the captain now

Man Quinn Hughes looking so determined out there! That's a great captain!!! #canucks

— Breakin' Brad 🚨 (@bradtuzzi99) March 16, 2025

Remember that “sit back and hope Quinn Hughes does something cool” strategy I mentioned earlier? Well, Quinn Hughes unleashed it near the end of the period.

First he gave Chicago a preview of what was to come when he danced around the Blackhawks zone for shits and giggles:

Like a scene straight out of Novacaine, Foligno somehow soldiered on, despite suffering two broken ankles by the hands of Quinn Hughes.

All of which led right into the first goal of the night from the Canucks, which was generated off of a board battle in which Tyler Bertuzzi made the cardinal sin of giving Hughes and inch of time and space:

You can see the panic on Bertuzzi as he realizes the pass from Fil Hronek has beaten him to Quinn Hughes, as his cartoon running on ice effect kicks into full gear as he attempts to chase down Hughes. Louis Crevier and Alec Martinez hold onto their guys and let things play out as they may, because hey, chasing down Quinn Hughes doesn’t seem like a fun thing to do in life, which gives the Canucks Captain enough room to pick his spot and score the first goal of the game.

It was the kind of goal that made you go “Yeah, you know what, maybe Quinn Hughes DOES make the Canucks a better hockey team.”

Best ultimate combo

CHAOSSSS GIRAFFE #canucks

— AJ ♡ (@SarcasticallyAJ) March 16, 2025

So how do you follow up that delightful goal from your captain?

Why with a goal from the resident Chaos Giraffe, of course:

Your eyes do not deceive you, that was indeed a rush goal from your Vancouver Canucks.

Now again, I must reiterate just how bad the Chicago Blackhawks are at the game of hockey. The amount of time and space they gave up to Vancouver bordered on illegal. Vancouver isn’t the fastest team in the league, I think it’s safe to say that, but somehow they’re out here making Teddy Blueger, Kiefer Sherwood, and Tyler Myers look like Team Canada got together for a quick game of puck and stick.

Give credit to Vancouver though, because they applied pressure on Chicago, which forced them into making bad turnovers like the one at the start of this goal. Myers and Sherwood essentially bully Frank Nazar in front of his locker, demand his lunch money, and then sit back as Frank panics and dumps the puck back into Vancouver’s zone. The problem is his closest teammate near the boards is Colton Dach, and he clearly has zero interest in skating on this shift, so he just watches Teddy Blueger skate towards the puck. You could almost see him calling out encouraging words to Teddy as he wished him well on his travels.

As Blueger skates with the puck, Frank, now having been attacked by a wild Giraffe, legit peaces out of the situation and literally puts his back on the glass as if to say “not my problem”, giving a free passing lane to Teddy KGB. Teddy happily takes it, sends it up to Kiefer, and now we hit the third mistake Chicago makes on this goal, which is backing off like OEL in his prime with the Canucks, giving up time and space that Sherwood happily skates into. Kiefer pushes Artyom Levshunov and Alex Vlasic back on their heels, to which they seem all too happy to do, as if to say “what are the odds Tyler Myers scores on a shot in this situation.”

Well, you know what they say, you can bake a cake with a chaotic giraffe, but you can never marry one, and Chicago found this out the hard way as Tyler Myers quickly makes it 2-0 for the good guys.

All in all, it was a pretty terrible sequence of hockey from Chicago. Just a complete lack of effort on their part leading to the Canucks making them pay for it on the scoreboard.

Again, I am happy the Canucks finally scored a lot of goals, and they did a lot of things right on this night, but oh my goodness, Chicago, what is you doing out there baby.

Best quickie before dinner

The first period began at 7:10 and ended at 7:36. It took a 26 real minutes to play 20 minutes of hockey. #Canucks

— Brendan Batchelor (@BatchHockey) March 16, 2025

Best floundering

0/2 on the powerplay in the game for the Hawks. Soft powerplay. #Canucks PK was up to the task. #Blackhawks

— Ty Glenn (@ty_glenn_hockey) March 16, 2025

Chicago tried their best, I think, to score on an early power play in the second period. They had to have been, right? They were getting pucks into the slot, they were at least aware that’s a good place for the puck to be.

The problem is when the puck got there, they just couldn’t do much with it. Like, they got Ryan Dontao the puck in a good spot, it’s just he ended up biffing the shot, and it ended up with Tyler Myers going for his second of the night:

Again, Chicago understands getting the puck towards the slot. And hell, Jason Dickinson briefly pushed aside his desire to murder his fellow man and instead chose to do a nice dangle at the blue line, beating Jake DeBrusk and giving him time to find Landon Slaggert in front of the net:

But unfortunately the pass was behind Slaggert, and because the puck isn’t a human being, Dickinson couldn’t later get revenge on it by ramming it’s head from behind into the glass. Nothing was working for Chicago.

Best let’s get dirty

A give and go up the center of the ice?
Do my eyes deceive me? It’s been ages since we’ve seen such a play on the rush #canucks

— kevin (@kevinlambert23) March 16, 2025

The Canucks, stuck at eight shots on the night halfway through the game, suddenly decided now was a nice time to bust out a goal off of the rush:

“How did this goal happen Uncle Wyatt?”

Well sit down kids and let me tell you.

This time it was a failed dump in from Joe Veleno, continuing the fun Blackhawks roster game of “is that a player name or a clothing brand for President’s Choice”? Joe fails to get the puck in deep but his line decides hey, it’s the thought that counts, so they all go for a line change.

During said line change, Marcus Pettersson finds Nils Höglander with the pass, and he sends a pass into a hard skating Garland, who then completes the give and go with Pius Suter for the goal. It’s the kind of goal we haven’t seen a lot around these parts lately, as it was done with equal parts speed, precision and skill. It was just weird to see a guy complete a give and go and then do some nice in close dangles to score a slick goal versus watching Derek Forbort bomb in a wrist shot on an unscreened goalie, you know?

The best part is even with the shitty line change, Foligno probably had time to get back into the play to help out, but he weirdly takes an outside route behind Suter and then just watches as the goal is scored. I have never seen a man that can match my beer league energy of jumping on the ice just to be scored on quite like Foligno did on this goal. Just incredible.

And since it was Corolla that scored, you just knew Garland had a goal celebration all lined up for the moment:

I’m still not sure how he got his leg that high, and yes, I saw that slight wobble at the end, but damn it, he still stuck the landing. Just incredible Mary Katherine Gallagher stuff from Garland on the night.

Best go for broke

Myers should not be passing on odd man rushes. I want to see him get a hat trick

— Ryan (@BentleytheGreat) March 16, 2025

I have to agree with Ryan, when you’re up 3-0, and you already have a goal on the night, you need to shoot in this spot Tyler:

Wind up for the bar down clapper, throw it on net off your backhand, go between your legs if you want, just make sure you’re the one taking the shot there big fella. Ride that chaotic wave when it’s going your direction, damn it.

Best from bad to worse

Sitting back after the 3-0 goal. Come on boys!! Pressure!! #Canucks get a 4th!

— just a guy. 🇨🇦 (@jaycee24_) March 16, 2025

Let’s check back in with our buddy Frank Nazar. Last we saw him he was helping the Canucks score their first goal of the night, but you know what, he’s a plucky kid. So when Bedard is trying to sauce a pass across the ice to Connor Murphy, to hell with that! Bat down that puck and take it yourself. Enter the zone with speed and skate towards the net, and then…fall down for no reason whatsoever:

This was a really bad night for Frank guys. Like, I know he’s trying his hardest, but the dude was getting checked to the ice by ghosts at this point.

Best shoot your shot

Silovs Kryptonite is a shot from the point through traffic #canucks

— Rutherford's – "Embrace the Hard" 🏒 🥅🏒 (@Jhammy51) March 16, 2025

Vlasic got the Sharks back on the board when Silovs old friend “shots from the point” came back to haunt him:

Now, Silovs has let in worse point shots in his life, and he will let in plenty more before all is said and done. So this wasn’t the worst of the bunch by any stretch of the imagination. Having Tyler Myers parked in front of you is a tough read for any goalie to track a puck through.

But I also feel like Silovs sometimes plays like he’s a 5″9 goalie from the 80’s with the way he lowers himself to the ice and makes himself so small. I have to remind myself that he’s 6″3 at times. I don’t love him getting so low and peaking around the legs like that to track the puck, but I am also someone who is deeply in love with Bubble Demko just standing up ramrod straight and taking up the entire net and letting the pucks just hit him.

This was also another spot in the game where you wondered “they couldn’t….could they?” as you debated if Chicago could make a spirited comeback based purely off of random point shots.

Best putting your foot on their necks

Two #Canucks goals on a single shift seems good. Is that good?

— Thomas Drance (@ThomasDrance) March 16, 2025

So how do you stop a team from trying to exploit a possible hole in your goalies software? You simply score two goals on the same shift:

There is something extra deflating about a team scoring a goal, the officials not realizing it, and then the team just continuing to play until they score a second time. This is about as “stop, stop, he’s already dead” as it gets in the NHL, made all the funnier by the fact that of course it’s Nearly Nils who has a goal taken away from him. In a season of snake bites, this is just the latest for Höglander, but ending the night with two apples ain’t a bad consolation prize.

The important thing to take away from this goal is that hint of swagger we talked about, showing up in EP40’s game. I cannot remember the last time I saw him try and dangle the puck in the slot like that and then get a shot off. I have seen him dangle a puck like that and then race towards the boards before pulling up and falling to the ice. I have seen him take a shot in the slot that gets blocked. But this was vintage Elias, the one that can both dangle your players and steal their girl/boy.

That’s superstar shit right there, and that is the “there you are, Peter” Hook moment I have been waiting for all season long. Elias finally ate the god damn imaginary food and got into a fight with it. Ruffio is finally at a loss for words as Elias runs him down at the table. That’s the kind of play this team needs and expects from Elias night in and night out.

Here is another angle of this absolute killer shot from Elias:

Key moment, he stepped up. End of story.

Best sometimes a night in with a good book is better than a party

Silovs is leaky. #Canucks

— Kerry Banks (@bad_kicker) March 16, 2025

Wyatt Kaiser got Chicago’s second goal of the night on a shot that I didn’t think was going to go in?

I once thought Jordan Binnington let in a bad goal from that angle and then an NHL goalie yelled at me, so all I will say is I think Silovs would want that one back? Like if I lined up ten goals allowed this year, that would be one of the last ones I would want to take on a date?

Is that gentle enough goalie criticism? I hope so.

Best enforcer on the team

garland fighting fork found in the kitchen

— ˗ˏˋ ★ ˎˊ˗ (@43HUGHIE86) March 16, 2025

Connor Murphy tried to wrestle with Garland but ran the second Corolla asked him if he wanted to dance:

That’s probably the smartest play a Chicago defenseman made on the night, to be honest.

Best what did I just watch

What passing by the boys in blue 😱 #Canucks

— EP40 (@riverhunt2) March 16, 2025

Oh Frank. I am so so sorry we have to do this.

Ok, so our buddy Frank Nazar. He’s out here, he’s trying to get things done. And sometimes? Sometimes skating with the puck is hard work. It looks so easy when Quinn does it, but sometimes that puck…rolls of your stick for no reason and Nils Aman swoops in to steal it from you:

Like, Frank has no pressure on him whatsoever, so he has plenty of time to skate with the puck, except he stickhandles the puck so hard that it rolls away from him. It was a rough night for our boy Frank.

And look, here’s the thing. Nils Aman is notable in that he is not notable. He exists not to exist. He is a Milford man in every sense of the word. You put him in the lineup when you want absolutely nothing to happen. You just want to blink and not even realize his shift is already done.

But this goal? This was the shift of his career with the Canucks. He swoops in to steal the puck from Frank, and gets the puck in deep to Blueger, who feeds Kiefer Sherwood, who somehow has the wherewithal to think “you know what would be dope? A no-look between the legs pass to Nils Aman.”, WHICH SOMEHOW WORKS. Nils then finishes off the play and scores what I would say is the prettiest goal of the year for the Vancouver Canucks. It’s filthy nonsense.

And you could tell Nils Aman was feeling it because seconds before the goal, he was entering the zone with speed, made a no look pass of his own, that eventually almost ended with a Tyler Myers clap bomb of a goal:

Nils Aman out here running Chicago into the ground. Sherwood making passes like Hank Sedin in his prime. I don’t understand any of this.

Best make them bleed their own blood

6 goals on 14 shots the PDO machine is back at the right time #Canucks

— 𝙅𝙖𝙘𝙤𝙗 ✭ (@GoNuckYourself) March 16, 2025

#Canucks have scored on 43% of their shots (6 goals on 14 shots). Soderblom rocking a solid .571 save%, which looks like mine in beer league.

— Grady Sas (@GradySas) March 16, 2025

The Canucks finished off the night by scoring mere seconds after the Nils Aman goal, and I cannot think of a more “**** you” goal then by scoring seconds after Chicago had to come to terms with that Aman had just done to them:

The good news is that at least Frank wasn’t on the ice for this one?

Chicago was clearly dazed and confused at this point, unsure of where they were or why this was happening to them, so all they could do was watch as Dakota Joshua found Garland in the slot, only to then turn around and see Garland find Suter alone in the slot, ending with another goal.

That weirdest part is that this goal would have normally have been the goal of the night for the Canucks. It involved multiple passes and wasn’t a point shot. That’s the stuff of legends in this season.

EXCEPT BLUEGER, SHERWOOD AND NILS AMAN TOOK THAT TITLE. THIS IS A THING THAT HAPPENED.

Again, absolute lunacy on this night.

Best Ike Clanton strategies

Filip Chytil takes a tough hit into the boards and leaves the game. Always scary when you see a player with a lengthy injury history go straight down the tunnel.

There was no penalty called. #Canucks

— Noah Strang (@noahstrang_) March 16, 2025

With the game officially out of reach for Chicago, this should have been one of those situations where the game slowly came to a close while the broadcast did its best to show as many shots of Connor Bedard looking sad and confused by life.

Instead, we saw Smash Mouth enthusiast Jason Dickinson run Filip Chytil from behind with an egregious hit, ending the night for the Czech forward. And as Noah points out, it raises serious concerns for a player who has struggled with concussions in his career:

That is about as dirty of a hit as you can land in the NHL, and one that was completely unnecessary. Dickinson had Chytil lined up for what feels like hours, and ran right through him into the glass. The whiplash like effect on Chytil shows how little he was prepared to eat that hit, and him falling back to the ice after trying to get to his feet is a scary optic for a player who has dealt with previous head injuries.

You’ll be pleased to know that Dickinson was immediately ejected from the game and was handed a five minute major for boarding, and who am I kidding, the officials didn’t call a single penalty on the play. Nothing to see here folks, just move along.

Two games in a row a Canuck has been hit in the head. There were two minutes of penalties assessed combined.

Not a serious league. pic.twitter.com/ih9Oze60WM

— Logan (@CanuckSkate) March 16, 2025

Now there are going to be a lot of discussions around a hit like this, as there should be.

One of them will be “well why didn’t the Canucks stand up for themselves?” and I agree, there is something to be said that not only did you not see a single Canuck go after Dickinson after the hit, but nobody helped Chytil as he tried to get back to his feet. Maybe the players didn’t see the hit, maybe they didn’t realize how bad of a hit it was, but the optic of that situation will be up for debate about whether or not the Canucks do enough to “protect their guys”. I’m not a huge “if you hit us, we must fight” guy, but if it’s an illegal hit, or if they are picking on your star players (like teams have clearly done with Quinn Hughes this season), I am very open to having a physical response to that. When asked about the hit after the game by Daniel Wagner, Rick Tocchet seemed almost cautious in his response, however:

“That’s a touchy one for me…that one there, I don’t know how to answer this. Would I like someone to grab somebody, is that what you’re asking me? I don’t know if that’s today’s game. But we have to have a pack of wolves mentality, and it’s near the end of the game and stuff like that…we’ll talk about that another day.”

Amusingly enough it was Quinn Hughes who probably sent the biggest response by taking out Frank Nazar from behind, and then Derek Forbort following it up with a spirited shoving contest after the next whistle:

The Canucks mobbed Bedard in that scrum to the point that he honestly looked super confused, pleading his innocence in the matter. At one point I almost expected him to say “bro, I’m a Canucks fan, wtf” as he tried to get away from the scrum:

Now, the Canucks might just save this one in the memory banks. There is a chance they take some healthy runs at Chicago next season, or if we’re lucky, the Canucks bring back Vincent Desharnais in his role as the saddest revenge fighter of all time, in which we’re unsure if we should clap or not when the fight is over.

That being said, the officials certainly failed at their jobs by not calling a penalty on the play, which brings up the entire idea of teams having to utilize street justice in the first place. If the officials kick Dickinson out of the game, that at least stems some of the frustration from the Canucks side of things, and now maybe they don’t need to hire Vinny D to come back to the team and…gently lower Dickinson to the ice at a future game.

I will give credit to the officials for one thing, though, as they handed out four 10 minute misconducts after that scrum, one of which was to Conor Garland. I assume they did this because they now know Garland is someone willing to drop the gloves, and they didn’t want to see Corolla teeing off on the Chicago players.

But regardless of the response, I think the hit itself is the main thing to be discussing out of all of this. Getting revenge on Jason Dickinson doesn’t do a whole lot for a team that is looking at a potential playoff berth. And at the end of the day, it was an extremely dangerous hit that injured a top six forward for the Canucks.

Or if you’re Kelly Hrudey, forget the injury, what’s important is that Jason Dickinson is sending a message to management that gosh darn it, he just hates losing so so much, and that they should keep him around next season because losing is for the birds:

oh ok, it's ok if Dickinson "crossed the line a little bit" according to Hrudey, because he's showing the org he doesn't like losing, right right right, forget the Chytil injury, that's fine, what's important is the Chicago brass know how much Dickinson cares pic.twitter.com/qlWPbJ6Oir

— Wyatt Arndt (@TheStanchion) March 16, 2025

It’s not a great sign look Luke Gazdic comes across like the level headed one on the panel. At least Luke went out of his way to drop a few “not to excuse him” lines, whereas Kelly Hrudey was knee deep in “I GET WHERE HE’S COMING FROM, HE MAD ABOUT LOSING” two sentences into his speech. Not only does Hrudey avoid putting blame on Dickinson, he waves away the predatory and reckless hits from Dickinson as nothing more than a guy who almost cares too much.

Getting frustrated with losing? Very much understandable. I don’t know who actually enjoys losing, but sure, maybe there are levels to this.

But excusing a guys behavior because he is showing he won’t stand for losing? That’s absolute batshit lunacy. You can almost see Hrudey’s monocle fall into his cup of tea as he waves away the servant from getting to close to his chair.

The best form of revenge? Beat the team on the scoreboard next time. Or, and here’s a thought, throw a huge, legal bodycheck at the other players in your attempt to avoid being alone with your thoughts as you try and understand your role in a losing season.

It ended up marring what was a very good result for Vancouver, and with no update on the health of Chytil, might have a lasting impact on the Canucks run for the post-season.

Best jersey Botch

Solid #Canucks jersey sighting right @TheStanchion? pic.twitter.com/meSKWdIP78

— Tarp Collector (@tarpcollector) March 16, 2025

I hope his car is still in the parking lot.

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